Free Ballin’

I was talking NBA with a friend last week and he asked me what I thought of the Gilbert Arenas/James Crittenden locker room gun fun; said he was surprised he hadn’t seen commentary on my blog.  First, I assure you it was entirely unrelated to the break from blogging I took for a holiday week of face-stuffing and binge drinking. Nah, I just don’t dabble much in off-the-court stuff.

Sure, when Ruben Patterson is released by the Clippers and Rockets fans on clutchfans.net wonder whether it’s a good idea to sign him, well, I generally feel compelled to argue against signing violent sex offenders who get involved in police-horse-punching incidents; but guns in the locker room is just eye-roll inducing stupidity and almost as bad as the socially conscious articles from socially conscious writers that follow.  And also, it involves one of my favorite players (Arenas, not Crittenden) and ruins his comeback from serious injuries.

I just find the whole thing mildly depressing—seriously, power through a few Nicholas Kristof articles and try to tell me this incident is more than “mildly” depressing—and one more thing that sullies this NBA season, along with Tracy McGrady’s tenure with the Rockets ending and Yao Ming making babies instead of game-winners—congrats Yao, and may your first child be a masculine child.

As much as anything (a throwaway phrase I’ve always enjoyed) this incident reminds me of Jayson Williams’ foibles.  No, there’s no comparison between displaying a gun and drunkenly shooting and killing your employee.  But yeah there is, in the same way that there is a perfectly valid comparison between my sex life and Wilt Chamberlain’s.  Arenas and Williams are/were favorite players of mine, as much for their off the court hilariousness as their hardwood successes.  Both f#cked up.  Reading Williams’ classic memoir, Loose Balls, you have to conclude that it was only a matter of time until he went completely nuts with a gun in his hand.  He was a gun toting alcoholic before injury forced him to retire.  After he left the game, Williams just more opportunity to booze and play with guns.  Something was bound to go wrong.  And Arenas?  Until now, Arenas has only been silly nutty, (seemingly) not dangerous nutty.

As for the claim that he welched on a bet with Crittenden, that’s hardly surprising, given what we know of his previous gambling behavior (below).  Now, this clip is hysterical, in part because he’s blatantly cheating, in front of a crowd, and being silly about it—and come on, one millionaire ripping $10K off another millionaire in a (basketball) shooting contest is funny in itself.  And accusations Arenas cheating at Halo* prompted him to spend 2,300 words on nba.com, defending himself.  That’s priceless, and nothing says, “I did it!” like mounting that kind of rambling defense.  But breaking out the guns just spoils the joke.

*[after clicking on the link, search for "don't call me"]