Free Ballin’

I missed this a few weeks back, from Chad Ford’s draft news:

• We’ve been trying to get to the bottom of DeJuan Blair‘s situation for the past few weeks. We’ve heard from a number of teams that they’ve had concerns about his knees and it’s only come to light in recent days that those concerns have to do with the fact that doctors can’t seem to find his ACLs in the MRIs they’ve taken. There are a lot of different takes on what this means, and I won’t bore you with them here.

He doesn’t want to bore us with the experts’ theories?  He doesn’t wish to explain to his readers how a player without ACLs can grab 12 rebounds a game in Division I basketball?  What a load of condescending crap.  Where the hell is Will Carroll when you need him?

Next season, Ford is going to report, “Unfortunately, the dazzling Slovakian point-guard was unable to provide a urine sample, during his physical.  It seems the father of six lacked the proper equipment.  Doctors have a variety of theories, but I won’t bore you with the details.  Needless to say, this could impact his draft status, and his marriage.”