Free Ballin’

Start typing “Rodney Stuckey” into google and the first suggestion is “rodney stuckey’s girlfriend”.  Type in “Danilo” and the ninth suggestion is “Danilo Galinari’s girlfriend.”  Type his whole name and the first suggestion is yes, “Danilo Galinari’s girlfriend.”  Apparently Andrea Bargnani isn’t as sexy as those other cats.  You have to type his entire name plus an apostrophe before google suggests “andrea bargnani’s girlfriend.”  (Though at least that’s the first suggestion.)  Amazingly (to me) even when you type “Michael Jordan” “michael jordan’s girlfriend” is the fourth suggestion.  Really?  Does that mean it’s the fourth most commonly searched combo with his name?  That’s what people want to know about Michael Jodan?

I think it’s across the board.  I wondered at first if it was just for unusual names or maybe well known players, too.  But if you type, “Steven Hunter” “steven hunter girlfriend” is one of the top options.  The only variation is when it’s well known that a guy is married, like Marko Jaric.  Just type “Marko J” and “Marko Jaric” is followed by “marko jaric adriana lima” followed by “marko jaric wife.”

I think this whole thing is way funny and—not knowing much about google rankings except that to some degree I believe they’re based on the number of tyimes something is searched for—I like to think that google is making these suggestions because million’s upon millions of ambitious groupies out there are googling, thinking, “Do I have a shot??”  What’s more distrubing than funny is when you type in “Ruben Patterson”; “ruben patterson girlfriend” is first, followed by “ruben patterson nba” and third is “ruben patterson sex offender.”  I’d like to know how google’s search rankings work, because, well, are that many groupies out there really yearning for a tantalizing ruben sandwich?